Dirty Secrets
by Lemonjello
Summary: Jess never learns to knock before she enters.


body

"What is this crap?" Nick groaned after watching two minutes of the show Jess had on. He was stuck with her for the night since Schmidt was off at a sorority party and Winston was catching up with some old basketball pals.

"Don't say that! It's a great movie, you're just not giving it a chance." She pouted turning the volume up as if forcing him to like it.

"Why is the dragon speaking? And why is it shooting snot balls at the kingdom?" She huffed and stayed silent stubbornly.

"Alright Jess what's the movie about?" He finally conceded after ten silent minutes have past. She almost jumped out of her seat in excitement as she began telling the story.

"You see that man with the dragon shield, he's actually friends with the dragon and has been tricking-" He could barely keep up with her banter as he tried to eye the movie at the same time. It was of course impossible. She was too loud and distracting to not focus on.

"And then he convinced the dragon to give the evil boy half his heart? You know?" He shook his head in disbelief.

"No Jess I can honestly say, I don't know." He said incredulous. She gave him an exaggerated sigh.

"But in the movie the dragon did it to maybe make the king a better person. But in the end the dragon has to die to save the kingdom." He slapped his forehead in annoyance.

"Jess! Ah no you just freaking ruined the whole movie!" He hollered pointing to the screen that showed the people fighting. Her eyes widened and she threw her hands to her eyes ashamed.

"Ohhhh I am so sorry. But you'll still watch it right?" He shook his head and sipped his beer before heading up from the couch. She launched a hand to stop him and it did. He stared at it for a split second trying to realize what its purpose was.

"Please Nick, I've had a bad day and could use company." He rolled his eyes but sat down reluctantly. She was annoying but yet she seemed to snag some power over him and he never quite knew why. Nor did he want to.

"Why is today so bad?" He mentally slapped himself for even uttering the question. As he plopped back down, farther this time just incase she felt the need to trap him again.

"Well I woke up like five minutes late and my razor cut this huge gash on my leg, see?" She then persisted to shove her shin in his face, but luckily he managed to catch it before she caught his nose. "Then like no body had a tampon so I had too-" He put a hand over her mouth before she dared utter another word.

"Jess, I'm a guy, you live with nothing but guys. Don't talk about things like that okay?" She blinked blankly. "You understand what I'm saying?" She nodded slowly before he let his hand up.

"But then I had to change my clothes and... Wait where are you going?" She called after him as she watch him curse under his breath all the way to his room.

He slammed the door behind him and stormed around for four minutes looking for something to do. He finally sat on his bed and pulled out his prize possessions from under the bed. After such a rough and exhausted day he deserved this one pick me up. Given he didn't have a lot of time lately alone to himself so this had long been over do. He bit his lip and he flipped through the pages to his favorite scene. But right as he was fully consumed with his reading material the door sprang open.

"Nick you got a-" She stopped in mid sentence when Nick frantically sat up straight and threw the pages across the room. She gave him a side glance as she watched him try to slyly button his pants up.

"Nick are you cadoodaling?" She asked while cocking out her hip and waving her finger as if eating up the scene. His cheeks heated up and he ruffled his hair nervously.

"What? No. I actually have no flipping clue what that even means." He stammered angrily as he helplessly watched her walk to the window and bend down to pick up his previous "novel". She gave him a shocked and still look after her thoughts finally registered.

"Is this really-" He cut her off before she could finish.

"Jess I really can't see why you feel the need to barge in my room Time after TIME!" He started to pace before he knew it as he continued to scream. "I mean seriously Jess; you never listen to a thing I say. It's like you think up ways to annoy and infuriate me every time you see me." He didn't notice her during his pacing as she made her way over to him and finally stop him by grabbing his hand. He froze stiff at the touch.

"Nick?" She asked slowly. He gulped and looked at her humorous eyes and he just knew it. She was never going to live this down. She was going to use this every time she possibly could. "It's okay Nick, your "secret" " is safe with me." He hung his head ashamed but she gave him a tight hug anyways. He was ashamed and a wreck, Jess was pitying him, how could this day get any worse.

"Just don't tell the guys. I use to kind of have a problem with it awhile ago and they think I got rid of them all so..." She smiled wide as she held him at arms length.

"It's okay Nick, I understand. Everybody gets to have a little obsession every now and then. Just don't waste all you money on it. I hear it gets pretty expensive." He nodded and looked away now just wishing this moment was over with already.

"I gotta go to bed Jess." He sighed hoping she'd get the hint. Luckily she did and gave him a salute and headed to the door. But this time he was the one to stop her with a hand.

"Jess?" She looked up at him in question.

"Yeah?" He looked at her hands for the subject at hand.

"I kind need that back." She blushed red as she realized she was still holding it and shoved it back to him.

"Sorry, sorry!" She rushed before sprinting to the door.

He sat down once more and took a heavy breath to calm his nerves. But then she poked her head back through the door to give him another startle.

"Oh Nick?"

"What Jess!"

"My favorite is Gambit." He smiled crookedly and waved his hand to show her out and she left.

He found himself smiling still as he tucked his collection of limited edition The Astonishing X-men under his bed once more before heading to bed.


End file.
